Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Trying to "Fit In" Doesn't End in High-school

 I look back on my time in high-school fondly.  I made really great friends. Friends that I have grown up with, friends who I still consider to be some of my closest friends.  We were lucky, when everyone was trying to "find their place" and "fit in," we found each other.  We formed a pact.  A pact that is strong, and still exists through the years.  Unfortunately for us, we have all spread out. There are a few gals still in Pennsylvania, one in Florida, one soon to be in Australia, and me, here in lovely Virginia.  Our bond is still strong despite the miles between us.

Because, I was blessed with finding such great friends in high-school, I often forget about the bumps in the road before we formed our pact. You see, I was an awkward teen. I mean the kind of teenage girl who grew 5 inches in the 9th grade, had braces, and hit puberty really late.  I was so gawky, and skinny and just flat out weird looking. I was insecure and had a really hard time feeling good in my own skin. It wasn't until after our lil pact became a group that I started feeling confident in myself.  It was like I had found my place, found my backbone, and with those ladies behind me I felt like I could conquer the world. They are with me through thick and thin, and we never let things come between us. 

You know recently, I have been feeling like I am back in high-school... Early high-school before I found my friends. Being a new mom kind of makes you feel that way... You are insecure, and you don't really feel confident in what you are doing. I second guess myself on everything... What kind of milk they should be drinking, to what preschool we should attend... I feel as though I am trying to find my place all over again. What kind of mom am I? What kind of family are we? Am I an organic momma who grows all her own fruits and vegetables, and makes her own baby food? Or am I more practical in the sense that I am okay with buying pre-canned food? Cloth diapers or disposables? Public or private schooling? Where do we fit? And unlike high-school where you are making the decisions for yourself... This Is a big deal- my two lil men's lives depend on these choices... It is enough to keep one awake at night, and believe me it does.

Through all my second guessing, I guess what I've learned through all of this is; my main goal is to have a happy, well balanced family.  If i stay focused on that goal, i believe i will eventually find my place, find my groove, and "fit in."

From one soul to another,

BE TRUE

2 comments:

  1. Great "lesson learned"!

    When you know where you want to be, it's much easier to make the choice to help you get there. It might not matter so much to have all organic foods, so long as your kiddo's get love and hugs before bed.

    Glad to have found your blog. Looking forward to reading more of your posts. xoxo

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  2. ^ This! 4 kids and almost 9 years later, I still second guess myself on a daily basis! Trust your instincts. At the end of the day, you'll be remembered by your kids not for what kind of food you bought, or where you sent them to school - they'll remember the love and hugs. They'll remember that mom and dad always tried their best - and that's all anyone hopes for from their parents.

    -Chris

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